By Louis Baragona
You may have seen the stories lurking in your Facebook newsfeed (which of course you only check when it’s the birthday of a family member) or maybe waiting in the shadows of your Twitter timeline, retweeted by that person you’ve been meaning to unfollow since they wrote that open letter to an open letter.
I’m talking about the barrage of annoying, pretentious articles that all tackle Why Modern Dating Is Bad.
This headline will usually be followed by paragraphs on why apps like Tinder have detracted from the ambiance of dating. Once an article of this kind begins harkening back to the 1950s as a time of ideal romance, I stop reading.
Here’s the truth: modern dating can be tough. It can be scary and it can require a lot of difficult or intimidating communication. But apps like Tinder have not only revolutionized dating in terms of who you can meet and where you can meet them, they’ve also changed the art of the first impression.
Just as the headline is the clue to a news story’s content, your bio on a dating app is the clue to who you are. It introduces you and makes the first impression. Here’s how to nail your bio on whichever dating app you’re using.
Tinder
The key here is to avoid sounding too serious while still maintaining an air of mystery. A perfect Tinder bio is aloof and informative, short and impressive. It’s not LinkedIn, nor is it The Bachelor.
Good: Take me to Applebee’s, know at least two Drake songs, and tell me your favorite book. I’m easily impressed.
Bad: Work as a copywriter at a major company. Love to hike, eat, and read. I’m looking for someone who can take care of me and with whom I can find true love.
Bumble
Think of Bumble as Tinder’s professional and more self-aware sister. This bio should be a bit more serious, but still with a little humor. If you’re female, remember that Bumble is based on you and your preferences, so don’t be afraid to be yourself.
Good: Writer, editor, OU alum, wine expert, and Drake encyclopedia
Bad: Party girl looking to let loose from my day job as a copywriter. Love wine, reading and Drake lyrics.
The League
Based on your professional acumen, there’s an investigative process before you can be approved for this app. If you’ve managed to get in, don’t be afraid to show off a bit—just don’t try to be too professional or stuffy.
Good: Accomplished writer, grammar nerd, and unexpected Ciroc sipper. Down for drinks or dinner after work and looking to see where things go.
Bad: Award-winning author, grammar professional, snob. Only looking for something serious. No flakes, no dummies.
Hinge
Hinge is an app based on meeting people through mutual connections and establishing relationships that aren’t entirely random. Think of this app as more traditional in the sense that it’s like a friend introducing you to someone that you might like based on your interests and hobbies.
Good: I like comedy shows, art museums, and Indian food. We’ll tell our friends we met at Blink?
Bad: I don’t know what I like to do, but I’m looking for a boyfriend or something.
Happn
Centered around where you’ve been and who you may have encountered, this app is for the romantic who believes they may have spotted their true love in the crowd, but needs a little bit of reassurance. Be funny and have personality, and feel free to make a joke about the circumstances in which a person may have seen you.
Good: You probably saw me at Chipotle. Love at first burrito.
Bad: I haven’t left the house in days so this match must be coming from inside the house.
OkCupid
This is the place to get serious, but without losing your signature quirks or attributes. Keep in mind what you’re looking for, and formulate your bio around the things you like without giving it all away.
Good: I’m not going to go all Carrie Bradshaw on you, but I’m looking for something serious, and if I can’t find that, then I’ll definitely take some free Chipotle or good book recommendations.
Bad: I’m hoping to get married, go on dates, or meet people to hook up with. I want to find the one and settle down.
Grindr
All of the previous apps have been gay-friendly, but not gay exclusive. Grindr is for male-identified people that are attracted to one another to meet up for a myriad of different reasons. In a Grindr bio, it’s important to state what you’re looking for exactly and what you’re interested in.
Good: Hoping to go on dates and/or find someone as passionate about Parks & Recreation as I am.
Bad: *blank*
The key across all of these different apps? Be yourself. To thine own bio be true. Happy swiping!
Louis Baragona is a Brooklyn, NY-based journalist who spends most of his time watching informative reality television programs (any Real Housewives show) and eating alarming amounts of Chipotle. Follow him on Twitter @lounicorn_ and read his weekly column “Unpacking” every Thursday.
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